Plato Jesus returns after more tireless digging through the wastebaskets of the world's newsrooms to provide this latest cache of entries for his "That's Newstastic!" series.
Click on the first entry below, then use the Next > link at the bottom of the page to read them all. Or just click through to each entry individually from here. You're sure to find your eyes pooling up with tears of laughter! Well, tears of something:
You are being lied to about pirates
Dirty sexy money
'Smell map' tracks the world's odours
No snickering: That road sign means something else
Emperor penguins face extinction
U study: 43 percent of active-duty military admit binge drinking
Master list of border tunnels, as of January 31, 2008
US: From militant to military
