By the apples

A contentious Irishman and his equally contentious wife were troubled by a rodent that had taken up residence in their basement. So they went out and purchased great, heavy rat traps to eliminate the nuisance.

Deciding how to bait the traps proved problematic. The wife insisted the only proper bait was fresh fruit, while the husband assured her it was madness to try to catch a rat using anything other than nuts. Unable to come to an agreement, they set two traps: one using chunks of sliced apple, the other with salted cocktail nuts.

Late that night they were awakened by a loud SNAP as one of the heavy traps was sprung. Determined to see who was right, they both raced from the bed. The squeamish wife remained at the top of the basement stairs as her husband ventured below.

"Got 'im!" The husband announced to his wife.

"And did ye catch him by the apples?" She called.

"Er, no..." He replied.

thank you Redd Foxx.